I started having kids really young. I was 18 when I got pregnant for the first one. And I was 22 when I got pregnant for the 2nd one. I don’t regret it at all. I love my children very much and we have done a lot of growing together. However, I don’t recommend it. Being that young, you don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground and trying to raise a person to tell the difference between their ass and hole in the ground can prove to be a little bit difficult. But—I have to say that we’ve come out on top regardless. And my children definitely now know the difference and are growing to be pretty amazing human beings everyday.
Having kids so young has put my biological clock into overdrive. My expiration date seems to be looming around the corner at a time when most people are just starting to do all the things I did almost 9 years ago…ya know, procreate. I see people I went to grade school and high school with are getting married, starting families, and starting their own traditions. Over here, my biological clock is screaming at me to settle down and pop out one more kid before 30. I will be 28 in January and 28 is sitting over my shoulder whispering at me on a daily basis “ Hey. I’m right over here. And my friend 30 is right behind me and he told me to tell you to get crackin’. Find a husband already and let’s do this.” I keep hitting the snooze button on that clock. But the 10 minutes inevitably passes and I am once again reminded of my impending expiration date. I’m not saying that if I don’t do all these things before 30 that I just give up. All I am saying is that when I am 30, my oldest will be 10. My youngest will be 6. And I can’t fathom the thought of starting all over again with a new baby. But that’s today. Who knows what will happen in 6 weeks…6 months…etc, etc. You get the point.
I am often told to be patient. I’m often told that I’ll “know.” Patience has never been my strongest suit. I’m not gonna lie. I typically make things happen for myself because if I don’t, then who will? Unfortunately, that doesn’t apply to things like love, partnership, and a life beyond the one I am living now. It’s been difficult to pull back on the reigns with this. I’ve mastered every aspect of my life except this one little minute detail….
Hold on. My alarm is going off…(throws clock across the room)….snooze that stupid clock.
My mother didn’t have me until she was almost 40. She wasn’t married either. Her entire youth she found herself at weddings being told by traditionalist elderly Sicilians, “you’ll be next”. (I still think she should have told them this at funerals, in return.) However, she was never “next”. Yet she played the cards she had and found contentment.
I’ll be turning 24 shortly behind you, but even I hear “tick tock, tick tock”. It seems every girl I went to high school with is married/engaged and popping out babies. I find myself thinking, “what do I have to show for myself?” It’s only natural.
It isn’t the cards you’re dealt, but how you play them. Happiness can be around any corner. (Maybe I should listen to my own advice.) Love you!!
Sarah Celino | 12/23/2009 07:33 PM | Link
Life is what happens while you’re planning something else. Goals are great ways to live, but as much as we think we are in control, incredible things do happen to us from time to time quite by surprise. I am certain that each of us is being watched over by a Higher Power, and we live not one but many lifetimes. Sometimes when I get ahead of myself, I hope to remember a Zen saying “Between Heaven and Earth, you are perfect exactly where you are.” I experience your personality to be enchanting and considerate. Your dance and writing talents reveal you to be a gifted artist who brings enhanced meaning to people. Sometimes a gift can feel like a burden. Just remember that you know the secret of how to fly above it all…
Jeff Teachworth | 12/24/2009 02:39 AM | Link